Headcase.com

rumblings from a mind gone sour

The Worst Drivers in the World

I’ve seen many a bad driver in my travels. In Spain they bump each other to make lane changes, in Puerto Rico they regularly go through red lights and drive on the shoulder. In India, they will wait for hours while a cow lounges in the road.

But the single worst are in Saudi Arabia.

In simple terms, women cannot drive a car, they cannot even sit in the front seat. But alternately, males can begin driving at the age of ten. Yeah, you read that right.

Add to that the fact that Saudi’s love big cars like Suburbans and you get the picture…quite a thing to see a ten year old driving a massive vehicle with his mother in the back seat.

They sit on phonebooks and drive like in a video game at Chuck E-Cheese, cutting across three or four lanes in one pass and without signal. In fact, just seeing it will jar you.

So while New York and Boston have the loudest drivers and France has the rudest, spend some time driving around Riyadh and you’ll find little in this piece to disagree with.

Slacker Friday

- Twins still look like a division winner, yes, but a one and done still.

- My source says Favre changed his mind and will announce dependent on what the Vikes do in the draft and free agency. From his end though, he’s good to go and the mere fact he hasn’t actually retired is a first and a sign he’ll be back.

- Who is the coach of the T-Wolves? Not that I care.

- Children of Men on USA Network? Good for them for haing the cajones to show a great but dark and heavy film.

- I could only watch the winter olympics (besides hockey) for like five minutes at a time. Do I really need instant replay for cross-country skiing? Commentary? “He’s going three miles an hour now.”

- Gm is firing back up 500 dealerships. Stay tuned, that’s your company ;o) Buy back is closer.

- People and cell phones and driving don’t mix. Most people are driving monkeys already without the phone. I’m all for heavy penalties for talking and txting and driving. Pretty much every accident I get into on a daily basis is with some monkey on their phone.

- I’m happy Canada won the gold hockey game. Love their national anthem.

- Final Note:

I have come full 180 degrees on holding the trial of Sheik Muhammed in NYC. At first I didn’t think it was a good idea but can now see why we MUST hold it there.

If we are to show the world, the terrorists, that we have won and been resilient and are not afraid – then we hold it in NY, where the crime occurred as normal. We must be defiant. Bad enough the space at ground zero is still vacant.

In fact, hold it right in the middle of ground zero, show all the SOBs that we are not afraid, unaffected. We cower to no one and the rule of law stands. No?

So while I originally disagreed with Obama’s decision, I have come full-circle and now find myself at odds with him as he considers moving the trials (although mostly because of pressure from NY. I would think they want justice and on their turf.)

Terrorists win when we alter our lives, our values (torture), our level of panic (Iraq) – it shows those back home (recruiters and recruits) that it does work. This trial is another great example.

Tweet This

Sure, there are several uses and benefits to be seen in Twitter as an information and communication source but let’s face it, most of the popular people on there have no more than 140 characters of insight to give. And their followers? They don’t have the attention span for anything longer than a txt msg (note the abbr.).

Think about it, you’d have to pound most of the author’s heads with a hammer to produce 140 characters that have any meaning or real insight beyond, “I just had great sex” or musings on coffee or Taylor Swift’s latest gay love interest.

Now, what kind of celeb would benefit most on the limits Tweeter provides them? Sports stars, reality TV clowns and musicians (for which it can take years to create a paragraph).

Twitter is perfect for them because it asks so little of them…and their fans.

Truth is, nothing really meaningful or inspiration can be written in under 140 characters. Only snippets of information, 95% of it totally useless….like the ticker…at the bottom…of your TV.

An so it is, Twitter fits the ‘ticker/text generation’ perfectly: promising everything, asking for nothing and doing it in under 140 characters.

9/11 x 1,000

It is very five minutes ago to post video on your blog. I prefer great audio and sound bytes as I believe we need to use our eyes less, our ears more. Enjoy!

Do You Believe in Jinxes?

A ‘jinx’ (otherwise known as ‘tempting fate’) is that moment when you attempt to claim that you know more than the universe, that you are more powerful. Problem is, you are goading an entity far greater and more mysterious than yourself to prove you wrong. And it can.

The single best example I (and history) can give you is the story of a cruise ship somebody had the cosmic balls to call “unsinkable” – and it sank on its first frickin’ trip!

So next time you feel like saying “we’re home free” or “this will never fall” or “I didn’t have a condom but I thought, when’s the next time I’m in Haiti,” think about that grand ship and all the people who perished because some clown tempted the heavens. And then think again before you speak.

Look at it this way, nothing that has gone in the water since 1912 has been dubbed “unsinkable.”

So my advice? Always heed the words, “don’t jinx it!”

Next article will cover the art of the ‘reverse-jinx.’

Notes on the Week

- Apparently, the headcase’s breaking of the Favre story was discussed on sports talk radio this past week. Remember though, heard it here first.

- Really hope David Duchovny was paid a bundle to say “pooper” in those awful little dog commercials.

- If the Twins don’t sign Mauer, they are dead to me.

- Top things overhead at the health care summit
1. What’s Pelosi keep smiling about?
2. Somebody wind McConnell back up
3. When will Sarah be here?
4. Is Harry Reid a muppet?
5. Who’s the black guy?
6. You hear Gingrich got thrown off a flight?
7. I got us three hookers for CPAC
8. What’s this whole ’summit’ thing about?
9. You look better on CNN than MSNBC
10. I miss Teddy.

- I really enjoyed the movie City of Ember.

- I want another Hawaii on our other coast so I am beginning a campaign for the best candidate, Puerto Rico.

- What happened to My Chemical Romance?

- Is it spring yet?

- If Rihanna were a drink she’d be a hot chocolate with Baileys and marshmallows.

- Gatorade dumps Tiger Woods after long holdout. Yes, apparently even they don’t have the…stamina to keep up with him.

- Commercials with talking babies or animals suck ass.

- Can we just agree to all stop talking about Speidi Prontag all at once?

God Bless Chileans

Today comes sad news…Snooki, ‘Jersey Shore’ punching bag, is actually not Italian, she is Chilean. My first plea would be to assure you she does not represent the marvelous girls of that nation. No.

I rarely miss a flight but when I do, is it usually leaving Las Vegas – as tortuous as the hilarious movie of the same name depicts.

Yet I’m glad I missed this particular flight that came, as usual, after a night of overdoing it in some club on the Strip until some ungodly hour. I do remember that the one guy with me, ended up passing out in the parking lot…damn you, Patrone Silver.

For after a mad, nauseous dash to the airport the next morning, I was told I was too late by some snarky airline lady and that I had missed my flight. The next flight was in “six hours,” she delighted.

Fortunately, there was another flight leaving in a couple hours on another airline. “Last seat on the plane,” I was told by another snarkster.

When it did finally board, I was literally the last one to get my body on the plane – too nauseous and dizzy to be first into the tube.

I looked down to my right, towards the back…every single seat was filled. I look up to my left and there it was, my seat, the only one unfilled anywhere. First row behind First Class and the one next to the smelly, rarely-scrubbed lavatory/pod.

I plopped down in my aisle seat and muttered, “Nice, they put me next to the shitter” while plugging my nose and regretting the BK burger and O’rings I just scarfed in the terminal.

I was close to launching it but heard two giggles.

The laughs were courtesy of two of the most beautiful twins, Chilean twins, one could lay eyes on. They had hair and tans and legs and tits and personality to add. They were party girls, latin as they come. They were a dream in polyester seating, the human version of a strawberry daiquiri.

Turned out to be the greatest flight of my life as we ordered booze and joked and chatted and laughed our asses off – they were a travelling fiesta in their own right and I took full advantage for what seemed like the shortest trip in time…ever. Stinky bathroom? Where?

When the plane landed and we got off, the two girls walked all the way through the terminal and to baggage claim with me, one on each arm as they ‘bounced’ and laughed and turned EVERY head in the G wing. I felt like a latin Hugh Hefner. No, I was the latin Hugh to everyone who literally stopped to watch us (them) walk by.

So don’t let the news of Snooki’s heritage get you down on the nation, they just had a terrible earthquake and could use our support. Besides, Chileans are better in pairs.

All kidding aside, please support the Chileans, they are wonderful people:
Text the word “CHILE” to 52000 to donate $10 on behalf of the Salvation Army
Text the word “CHILE” to 90999 to donate $10 on behalf of the American Red Cross.

Tiger in Sex Rehab?

The National Enquirer, the mag with a knack for catching a tiger by the tail, is reporting that Tiger has moved from the sex to the drug card. I think momma told him, go to rehab and he said…

Tiger in Arizona?

Favre to Announce Return Next Week on Leno

The headcase has it from a VERY good source that Brett Favre has the blessing of his family and will announce his return to the Vikings when he visits the Tonight Show next week as it returns to its previous spot after booting the late, great Conan O’Brien (Conan needs Andy on the couch, not in the corner).

I learned several weeks ago that Favre, although beat up badly, did not want to make a hasty decision after the Saints loss as he has before and instead kept quiet. But after the MVP season he had, even his family had to admit he still had it…and good.

So with the family behind him, he has contemplated return under the condition that the Vikings make some necessary changes on the line and in the receiving corp – which I have no doubt the ownership will move mountains to do in the off-season. Favre is their key to a new stadium in MN.

Packers can gloat all they want but it is for naught. We got more out of Favre than we could have hoped for. We beat you twice, won the division and went to the championship game. We didn’t have Aaron Rodgers in the wings, we had Tavarus Jackson and maybe the possibility on another 10-6 season with a one and done.

Favre gave us moments we’ve never had and watching Pack fans squirm all year would have made an 0-16 season worthwhile. Favre is the best investment the Vikings made, for entertainment value alone, and it looks like they agree because from all appearances….he’ll be back and soon.

Ten Ways to Make Money, US Treasury Edition

My perspective is thus, I am a very successful entrepreneur and businessman and have a knack for finding opportunity where others may not. So despite all the back and forth and this and that about debt, there are some reasonable and sensible ways for the US to raise its revenues:

1. Bring the Troops Home…
Not necessarily the ones in Afghanistan or Iraq but the ones in South Korea, Germany and Japan. We would save billions by simply leaving a presence.

2. Add More States
That’s right, we are all strengthened by additions to the Union. Puerto Rico is the first and best candidate and could easily and swiftly become the ‘Hawaii’ of the Atlantic.  It has the currency and all born there are already citizens. Some simple and minor investment in infrastructure and jobs would be the wisest choice possible for both the island and the Union. Another candidate might be Iceland which would serve as the Alaska of the East, without Palin presumably.

3. High Rail
It should be a top priority for us to create and integrate a high speed railway into the nation. Means jobs and jobs mean infrastructure.

4. Get Green
Get it straight already: it is no longer even an issue if global warming is real. Truth is the globe is headed to a better place with its planet and the FIRST country to provide the technology and services and solutions will benefit for the next 50-100 years in jobs and exports and power.

5. Dump the Tanks
The military budget is full of maintenance for old and useless weaponry. We must create a RDF (Rapid Deployment Force) to respond globally in a matter of hours in stead of keeping and holding old planes, tanks and copters that no longer fit a strategy attune to globalized military needs. A strike force.

As a matter of fact, we spend more on defense than all the other top ten spenders COMBINED. We need to return to the sentiments and actions of Eisenhower and put that money into infrastructure, not aging weaponry.

6. Legalize, Regulate and Tax
It is no coincidence that Prohibition ended in 1933. The benefits, medical and social and financial, of marijuana are too large to ignore anymore. It is already America’s largest cash cropx2. We would profit yes, but it also provides us opportunities to cut spending – in jails, for instance.

7. Dump Some States
Yeah, I said it. If we are to run this country like a business, as Republicans and myself would like, then we cut off all the unprofitable arms. That would mean just about any southern red state. Yeah, I said it. Blue states make us money while red states cost us a fortune to prop up and maintain. Look it up. Red has far more teen pregnancy, drug usage, domestic abuse, alcoholism and porn usage than its jackass counterparts. Perhaps that is why their color is ‘red.’

If we were smart we would at least give up Texas or Florida, even for the emotional break it would provide.

8. Healh Care Reform…idiots.
Let’s say I cut my toe and didn’t have insurance so I left it alone until it got worse and infected and made my diabetes act up and I had to go into the ER for what ended up costing the public around $25,000. Alternative is to insure them which then would cost around $1500/yr while penalizing those who, to save money, purposely do not seek coverage and thus cost us considerably more.

9. End the Drug War, Shore Up the Borders
By ending the three decade old War on Drugs, we free up resources to tackle larger issues that affect, even dictate large aspects of the drug war: illegal immigration and opportunity. Devote a quarter of the resources from the savings on the war to borders and illegal immigration. Devote another 50% to control and regulation and taxation of soft and prescription drugs.

10. National Gas Sales Tax
Times are tough and they call for drastic measures. The current average price of a gallon is $2.65, well below the four dollar range of a few years ago.

The idea would be to invoke a tax of $0.50-$0.75 per gallon. Users of Regular would pay $.50 and Premium would pay the top rate of $0.75. This tax could be excised for a trial period, say 3-6 months, with full reassessment upon conclusion.

The purpose of the tax would be, 1) to repay the debt based off the direct costs of the wars, 2) fund high level expansion of national high-speed rails 3) push the advancement of society towards greener pastures.

Any intellectual worth his weight cannot admit in good conscience that the wars of the decade were, or can ever be won – see “The Art of War.”  They were far too much of a drain on the country and its resources, human and financial, it is the first rule of a successful campaign – prolonged warfare can never produce a victory.

One sure way to make sure the fight was not in total vain is to honor the future by not bestowing waves of debt and deficit on them as they are born.

Put up or shut up America, lots of ways for us to make money but it all starts with the will of the PEOPLE to sacrifice for the greater good.

Curling, Curling and More Yep, Curling!

Want Curling? Turn on your squakbox and you’ll find more curling than a pasta factory!

Need a fix of curling? Hit the ‘power’ button on your TV and you’ll get hit with more curls than a 70’s porn star. Pump it up!!

Wanna see people sweeping ice? Look no further than your boob tube, you’ll find more curls than a Soul Glow convention. Eric LaSalle, raise the roof! Talkin’ about Soul Glow, baby!

See? It just doesn’t work for me.

Curling has become the de facto sport of the Winter Games and despite the fact I am supposed to love it, I think it’s about as fun as a guided bus tour of Kansas City.

How do I cheer? “Sweep it, sweep damnit!”

How do I analyze? “The sweeping today was just off.”

Who do I blame? “The ice spitter totally screwed us.”

And yet every time I turn on my TV, it’s frickin’ curling again. How many medals are there? I’ve seen women and men, goats and canucks curling and curling again. Do the games actually ever end? Not sure. And is ’slow-motion’ replay really necessary? Seems to happen in slow motion already.

I’d prefer if we just called it what it is: shuffleboard on ice – and then made appropiate changes.

Seems to me the most interesting development would be to limit players to the geriatric set, say 70 and older. Would be far more entertaining to see the old folks out there, sliding around and breaking hips.

In fact, add some hockey to it and include ‘contact’. If somebody is sweeping for your stones, you should have the right to deck them out of the way. At least then I’d have something to cheer for and bitch about – “that was a late hit!”

This is an open letter to the committee, in hopes it will reach higher ears and eyes and not fall to deafness like my other suggestions such as ‘relay slalom’ and  the winter triatholon: skiing, swimming, whale spearing. And what about my request to make clothing ‘optional’ on some events? That one applies to the Summer games as well.

For the Olympics to take a hold of me, and not my deceased grandmother, it needs to spice it up – bring in Michael Bay for crying out loud. I want curlling to explode on my screen to the point that I crave curling, curling and more curling because right now, I crave it about as much as a Jerry-curl perm. Sorry.

Tiger and the Honey Pot

Yes, Tiger Woods said a lot of things that needed to be said.

But that’s my issue, it was a laundry list created by people other than himself. It was clear they had sketched out exactly what he needed to say and how to say it and where and when and whom sat in the front row. Nothing real about it.

In fact, the length of it upset me - with hugs and kisses and all, it was almost exactly fifteen minutes. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s a frickin golfer, he means NOTHING in the greater scheme but still thinks himself so high and mighty to warrant a fifteen minute mea culpa. Truth is, he could have been golfing the very next weekend, he committed no crime, violated no PGA rule. He made it all worse by not playing.

He waited toooo long to do it, means he never wanted to do it, felt he didn’t have to. Again, who was he apologizing to over and over again? I’ll tell you who: his sponsors. And all those promises? He didn’t need to promise anything to anyone but still, for some stupid-ass reason, he told us he was now going to live a life akin to a church minister. And not the ‘fondling’ kind…supposedly.

He should have come out early and gone to Oprah or Barbara Walters. By not allowing anyone to ask questions, he left all the questions unanswered. Don’t you see? He is still avoiding responsibility.

And therein lies the rub. Because he didn’t answer the questions it still lives and thus his attempts to end it failed. Without the give and take (where the interviewer acts as us all), the nagging stuff will continue to nag him from course to course. Hope he likes living under a giant microscope, where any Joe D’Bag can make a bundle by exposing a fuck up. Any fuck up.

From a PR/damage control perspective, it was a disaster. The objective was not met.

For instance, I used to like and cheer for him, now I think he’s a bozo who thinks the world revolves around him. Even now, I ask, why is he suddenly so interested in marriage? Seems this was a guy that ‘marriage’ wasn’t working for and now he wants to be hubby of the year? WTFx3? I cringe thinking of why she’s staying with him? $$$?

Remember folks, he didn’t just boink these hoes, he dated them for YEARS. All of them. Plus, add all the skanky, Jerry Springer ass he just one-nighted to the cocktail and hopefully you get the picture. Visual: Ewwww.

Fact is she should be running for the Swedish hills faster than tiger to a gazelle.

Are we that dumb?

It’s a scary thought but a new poll may indicate how self-absorbed and uninformed the American pubic is. And no, I did not misspell that, it should read “pubic.”

The poll tells us that most American are against health care reform…until it is explained to them, then they agree. WTF? Wtf to the Democrats?

Yeah, you read that one right too – they are against it until they learn what it actually is.

This, my friends, is the same type of dumbass-ness that got us stuck in Iraq. All they had to say was “WMD” and the pubic bought it hook, line and sinker.

Because the sad truth is, we have become a nation of mere proctors – we live by the ticker and will likely die via the same lineage and timeline, in 24hr chunks.

We don’t want the truth, we really can’t handle it – because in essence the truth is too simple for our cable news minds to comprehend.

We are nothing if not educated and will never get out of these massive holes until the pubic really begins to pay attention. If not, then we will run through candidates and elected officials like most people go through their junk mail and the end result of such a lopsided race, well, is “to obvious to require elaboration.”

We are doomed good friends if we continue down this apathetic road. Pay attention, shut the fuck up and make an effort to understand what is at stake and what it might take to fix it.

Tiger Woods, The Infomercial

Oh man, you saw it, didn’t you? I think most people we know tuned in at some point, in some media to see Tiger’s return.

And what a return it was.

Scripted and filmed to an inch of its life, Tiger once again has proven while he is great at golf, he pretty much sucks ass at everything else – especially public apologies. A few notes:

- Three women in the front row was way toooo contrived. Two of them were his employees! LOL!

- Whoever coached him obviously has studied or worked for Obama.

- I kept thinking, “stop talking!” He said way too much, the speech itself was like a full 12 step program packed into 13 minutes. Like if he made sure he covered it all, we’d move on.

- Did anyone see his mother look at him?

- Who did the camera work? Tiger’s people? That would make it even worse.

- Hated the part where he talked about his charity work, that really bugged me. One has nothing to do with the other and keeps the vein going: Tiger still thinks he is above it all.

- His statement where he scolded everyone and demanded they leave him alone was way off as well. He needed to disembowel himself, not the media.

- How many lawyers and PR gurus do you think had a hand in that statement/script?

- Very much annoyed by the continual looks at the camera, at just the right pause and juncture. Again, that all seemed coached to me.

- Found myself giggling at several points and I only giggle when giggling overcomes me. It is too girlish for me to allow willing.

- I think the comments about “Buddhism” have an alternate purpose, like when Christians use God as their “out.”

- Who the fuck was he apologizing to? Me? I could care less about who the man pokes.

Nothing about the whole scene, the whole statement gave me any reason to believe him. Before he was just a great golfer who fucked around on his wife. Now, he’s an idiot too and I think that is the worst one for me, because I don’t care who he pokes, I’ m not married to him.

See, Tiger has now gone so far as to think I’m an idiot and a fool and I don’t appreciate that. Now, he’s insulted my intelligence. And all by STAGING this farce, this prepackaged, scripted and rehearsed event in which I am supposed to swoon and hum his tune again.

Won’t work, like all the others who have used the same PR firm, he should have  just played the sex addiction card.

Because ultimately, he still came off as someone looking for an apology…for getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

No Doubt Now: Fry Dick Cheney

I doubt many noticed, like the media, but when Dick Cheney said this weekend that he was a “big supporter of waterboarding,” he not only showed what an idiot and evil SOB he is, he also inadvertently admitted to a war crime.

By ALL international standards and laws, waterboarding is a war crime. Begun in the frickin Spanish Inquisition, waterboarding is an awful, useless tool that simulates effects of drowning. I mean, throw a rock and you’ll hit a report about how torture produces poor intelligence.

Truth is, we should fry him in front of the world to regain our moral standing. We not only created decades of recruitment but we also lost a moral high ground we had held high since WWII. US does not torture. Period.

I get a chill imagining the reactions of all the great men who gave and sacrificed to create a global beacon of freedom comprised of a government in which “no man need be afraid of another.” FDR would fall out of his wheelchair.

Don’t you see? It CONFIRMS us as the “bad guy.” We ARE better than all the rest, aren’t we?

Yes, even if it means our end. The ideal is bigger than whole of its parts. Besides, if we fry the old bastard, perhaps ironically then, will they finally and long last ’greet us as liberators.’

Obama and the 4 Year Old Re-tard

My frustration for Obama grows on a daily basis.

Not only does he have to contend with a bunch of useless bureaucrats (read, lawyers) in DC but he also has to deal with an American public that wants it all now (jobs, growth, tax cuts) but doesn’t want to pay for it in any way shape or form. It’s catch 22 x 2.

In simple terms, it is as if the poor President is attempting to deal with, explain to and placate a four year old special child who wants more cheetos but doesn’t want to pay for them, in fact, he wants to be paid to get his fingers covered in cheesy dust.

And so we have the American public, fickle and insatiable like a toddler – and dangerously so. For even Jefferson championed and welcomed the French Revolution.

Yet the world would soon learn that the insatiable and desperate French public wold lead it to a reign of terror, of anarchy and sheer horror. The world, and the American public, must not forget this dark period where sheer impatience became the enemy of stability and security and progress.

History, as we know, give us guide to the future lest we suffer the indignity and stupidity of ignoring lessons learned – normally at the cost of thousands and millions of lives and their split blood.

For perhaps these periods, like that of the Revolution, are meant to provide counsel. Do we not study our prescient past with eyes aglow for the lessons they impart on the current situation? Did not the Great Depression provide us a guide map to the Great Recession and the lessons learned then placed in practice?

Still, we cannot ignore the petulant child. For he does not learn, or remember, an effect of the misfiring electrics of the brain. The kid cannot be reasoned with as reason is absent, it cannot be pulled into sacrifice as it would render their inner universe, their singular and personal solar system mute by default. It fears exposure, does not comprehend the vision forward.

Yet the impatience of the child frays nerves more than other attributes, good and bad. We have become overly impatient - to the point of revolutionary change, a promising yet destructive ideal.

For only a four year old, or the masses as a collective IQ, could conceive of a situation wherby we can demand to receive and receive, without even the instinct to give.

And so we sit, mired in a gridlock that could easily be reversed via public interest and debate and rationale – but that is too much to ask, yes, of a four year old consumed by his cheetos.

Napkin anyone?

Rahm Emanuel Apologizes

GoDaddy and Danica Should Part Ways

I’m not following the logic.

Danica Patrick is not that hot or sexy – she’s a mildly attractive girl who drives a race car. And maybe that is what I’m missing. But still, at this point, the Bob and Danica relationship is about as fresh as a 1:00AM Skinamax movie.

For her continued usage and overusage and the GD car and the races, it all leads me to a singular conclusion: Bob Parson’s just loves hot girls and racing.

Why? Well, it’s either that or racing fans love to register domain names. I’m betting it is the former.

Regardless, it has grown tired and old and the most recent Super Bowl ads were no different.  Is sex the only way to sell domain names? I mean, do horny fifteen year old boys really register that many domains?

Because in the end it is the only demographic they really hit with their “too hot for TV” nonsense that I’m sure spikes their server but does little to nothing for domains, the industry, the perceptions of us – now people think we love frickin’ Nascar, soft porn and dudish-looking race car drivers.

And of course, like bad literature, at the top sits a grubby old dude who has obviously forked over enough to make Danica do the commercials – but by the look on her face – she certainly doesn’t like doing them. Looks like someone is sticking chopsticks between her toes when she talks.

So please, Bob, take a moment to reassess your relationship, the focus of the campaign and the message it is sending out over the airwaves.