Oh man, you saw it, didn’t you? I think most people we know tuned in at some point, in some media to see Tiger’s return.

And what a return it was.

Scripted and filmed to an inch of its life, Tiger once again has proven while he is great at golf, he pretty much sucks ass at everything else – especially public apologies. A few notes:

- Three women in the front row was way toooo contrived. Two of them were his employees! LOL!

- Whoever coached him obviously has studied or worked for Obama.

- I kept thinking, “stop talking!” He said way too much, the speech itself was like a full 12 step program packed into 13 minutes. Like if he made sure he covered it all, we’d move on.

- Did anyone see his mother look at him?

- Who did the camera work? Tiger’s people? That would make it even worse.

- Hated the part where he talked about his charity work, that really bugged me. One has nothing to do with the other and keeps the vein going: Tiger still thinks he is above it all.

- His statement where he scolded everyone and demanded they leave him alone was way off as well. He needed to disembowel himself, not the media.

- How many lawyers and PR gurus do you think had a hand in that statement/script?

- Very much annoyed by the continual looks at the camera, at just the right pause and juncture. Again, that all seemed coached to me.

- Found myself giggling at several points and I only giggle when giggling overcomes me. It is too girlish for me to allow willing.

- I think the comments about “Buddhism” have an alternate purpose, like when Christians use God as their “out.”

- Who the fuck was he apologizing to? Me? I could care less about who the man pokes.

Nothing about the whole scene, the whole statement gave me any reason to believe him. Before he was just a great golfer who fucked around on his wife. Now, he’s an idiot too and I think that is the worst one for me, because I don’t care who he pokes, I’ m not married to him.

See, Tiger has now gone so far as to think I’m an idiot and a fool and I don’t appreciate that. Now, he’s insulted my intelligence. And all by STAGING this farce, this prepackaged, scripted and rehearsed event in which I am supposed to swoon and hum his tune again.

Won’t work, like all the others who have used the same PR firm, he should have  just played the sex addiction card.

Because ultimately, he still came off as someone looking for an apology…for getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar.