Yes, Tiger Woods said a lot of things that needed to be said.

But that’s my issue, it was a laundry list created by people other than himself. It was clear they had sketched out exactly what he needed to say and how to say it and where and when and whom sat in the front row. Nothing real about it.

In fact, the length of it upset me - with hugs and kisses and all, it was almost exactly fifteen minutes. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s a frickin golfer, he means NOTHING in the greater scheme but still thinks himself so high and mighty to warrant a fifteen minute mea culpa. Truth is, he could have been golfing the very next weekend, he committed no crime, violated no PGA rule. He made it all worse by not playing.

He waited toooo long to do it, means he never wanted to do it, felt he didn’t have to. Again, who was he apologizing to over and over again? I’ll tell you who: his sponsors. And all those promises? He didn’t need to promise anything to anyone but still, for some stupid-ass reason, he told us he was now going to live a life akin to a church minister. And not the ‘fondling’ kind…supposedly.

He should have come out early and gone to Oprah or Barbara Walters. By not allowing anyone to ask questions, he left all the questions unanswered. Don’t you see? He is still avoiding responsibility.

And therein lies the rub. Because he didn’t answer the questions it still lives and thus his attempts to end it failed. Without the give and take (where the interviewer acts as us all), the nagging stuff will continue to nag him from course to course. Hope he likes living under a giant microscope, where any Joe D’Bag can make a bundle by exposing a fuck up. Any fuck up.

From a PR/damage control perspective, it was a disaster. The objective was not met.

For instance, I used to like and cheer for him, now I think he’s a bozo who thinks the world revolves around him. Even now, I ask, why is he suddenly so interested in marriage? Seems this was a guy that ‘marriage’ wasn’t working for and now he wants to be hubby of the year? WTFx3? I cringe thinking of why she’s staying with him? $$$?

Remember folks, he didn’t just boink these hoes, he dated them for YEARS. All of them. Plus, add all the skanky, Jerry Springer ass he just one-nighted to the cocktail and hopefully you get the picture. Visual: Ewwww.

Fact is she should be running for the Swedish hills faster than tiger to a gazelle.